Staples of an Aussie Smoko

Welcome to Australia where “Smoko” is a time-honoured tradition. If you didn’t know, smoko is a morning tea break that goes for approximately 10 – 15 minutes where food, drink and cigarettes are generally consumed.

10 AM hits – ‘Alright boys time for smoko’, old mate says. Let’s see what the boys are having for smoko:

The Junk Food Lover:

Dare Iced Coffee: Packed full of milky sugary goodness, this is one drink that keeps you coming back for more (cos it makes you more thirsty the more you drink). Don’t think about any size other than 750ml you weakling.

An energy drink, preferably a Monster or V: The larger the better! Slurp on a few of these bad boys throughout the day to survive and thrive on the ‘barrow.

Cigs: As many durries as you can. Forget Winnie Blues or B&H, these days go for the cheapies at <$25 a pack. Or better yet, splash out on a pouch of Port Royal and get so good at rolling that you can do it standing on your head. Absolute smoko essentials.

A deep fried Dim Sim or 3: Get it in ya – Mystery meat or not, here you come. Who gives a crap about soy sauce when it’s covered in salt and MSG. Mmmm Umami flavour.

Meat Pie/Sausage Roll from the Servo: Whatever brand, as long as it’s hot. Don’t forget the Tomato Sauce otherwise why bother? It’s not a smoko if you don’t burn your tongue!

The Healthy Smoko Lover:

Protein Shake in a stupid Protein Shaker: Go hunt for the nearest tap to mix your creatine Vanilla blend and shake the shit out of it. Careful not to spill it – can’t miss out on dem gainz, u mirin’ brah?

Muesli Bars: Give the boring stuff a miss, at least get something with an icing topping for christ sakes. The healthy boys love this stuff and eat at least two per smoko.

Fully-customised Vape: You’ve upgraded the coils and spent countless hours researching the best flavours. You’ve given up the darts (when sober) but don’t mind a bit of juice with a bit of nicotine in it. Turn up the voltage and let ‘er rip, son.

Basic boy fruit: Such as a granny smith apple. So juicy, so fresh. A natural kick to keep you mixing the mud just right.

A sandwich or ‘sanga’: Maybe you’re strictly a peanut butter lad or maybe you like to go hard with the smashed avo! Don’t forget the mixed grain artisanal sourdough, my guy.

And there you have it, the Staples of an Aussie Smoko.

This may have nothing to do with what we do at Oz General Store, but whatever mate it was fun to write 🙂